Sometimes a love story, isn;t the love story you pictured as a child. It’s not all flowers, sunny days and day dreaming on a white linen bed with the sunlight streaming in. But it is laughter at things that no one else gets and feeling bemused at his frankly bizarre (but fairly amazing) dance moves, that after all this time you just cannot quite get over. It’s also short summers, and long winters together, adventures abroad, adventures alone and a secret language that evolves along the way.
It’s also top tapping, impatience, domesticity (and the details of which bore me to tears), frustration and contemplation. No one tells when you’re in a long term relationship how much you’re going to have to fight for your identity, because it’s so easy to lose yourself in someone else. It’s so easy to not fight for what you believe, or not see the people you know you should see, because frankly, it’s just easier to stay in and watch TV. You need to fight every day for what you want, and that makes it sound like that is hard for me to do, but it’s not, but I do, and will always believe that a lot of females lose sight of their own ambitions and goals in relationships. I’ve lost a lot of friends this way. People who forgot who their friends were.
With Damian, I found the reason it lasted so long was because we do argue. Not n the sense of huge arguments, but over things that matter, over things like who said what, or what colour that man was wearing on television. He also tells me when he doesn’t agree with something I’m saying, or he’d make a better business decision than I have (his background is more business orientated than mine). Other boyfriends just allowed me to be the dominant one, didn’t really challange me, and I need to be challaneged, because otherwise it just gets boring. I never had anyone else with as big a personality as I had.
And when I talk about personality, my God does this boy have personality. He makes me laugh more than anyone else. He does the funniest impressions of animals, accents, being spy in the street (hiding behind post boxes) and is frankly hilarious. He also puts up with my juvenile behaviour of laughing like a mad woman at all the Ice Age films (any animation really). He also lives every day with no drama, no regrets and a huge sense of independence. I also love that he is as ambitious as I am, and has plans for world domination all of his own accord.
The whole reason a lot of relationships can falter is because two people cannot quite seem to grow i the same direction anymore, whilst still growing in their own direction. Keeping your path together with another person, and all the time making sure your own values, goals and life is as full as possible is a delicate procedure. I’d say with us, we manage to make it work because you have to become almost malleable in the way your focus your goals. I don’t think I’m always that easy to be with. I’m ambitious, business obsessed, lazy in the details of every day life, argumentative and stupidly independent (to the point of being cold sometimes). So to have someone still stick by my side after all this time, to me, is quite amazing.
And today while we’re both still in our dressing gowns, and Squidge runs around like a crazy cat, it makes me smile, that nearly five years, we’re still in this. Still laughing manically, still arguing over trivia, such as how many moons Jupiter has, and still fighting for our own dreams and beliefs.
If this is happy, than I’m ecstatic!
Sarah Betty xx
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