Sarah Betty: the battle with my body


I just lost 10 pounds, reached my target weight and still hate my body.

I have finally reach my target weight, after losing 10 pounds. I did this not through exercising, but cutting down on what I ate.

Because dear reader, I put on this amount of weight with my job last year, with working three days from home and just not walking to the tube anymore.

I was horrified, because it was that revelation of, ‘Oh My God, I have NEVER weighed this much before.’ My clothes didn’t fit and my face looked so round in pictures.

Look, I know it’s not the end of the world, but when my pictures appear on Facebook and my blog and it makes me feel upset, that something needs to change.

I, like most am insecure. Probably more than most? I am not sure. I have massive hang-ups about my body, mainly because these things have been pointed out to me growing up. I was told I had big calves, big boobs, thunder thighs, broad shoulders. A lot of that by my family, believe it or not. And it doesn’t stop now. People think they have a right to point these things out to you, when you would never dream of doing that to them, despite the fact they are at least four dress sizes bigger!

It’s only been in the last few years that I can see my body for what it is, something amazing that can carry me from A to B, breathe on its own account and keep me alive.

It is something that needs to move, something that needs to be looked after and you can’t just sit there and hope it will stay the same, because you’re getting older. Things change, things slow, and so you must look after it.

And so, instead of promising myself I will join a gym (I won’t), that I will run 10K (certainly not), I am going with the small promise that I will walk more.  I will walk part, or all of my journeys. I started it yesterday and it already feels amazing.

These small steps will help me to feel better about myself and benefit all parts of my body – not just the way it looks.

So there you go. That’s my small bit to try and make myself feel better.

What do you do? Do you have hang-ups too? How do you get over them?

Sarah Betty xx

 

  • Maitha

    I actually felt a bit sad reading this (the first bit anyway!) as you’re right, totally unfair to pass on body insecurities to others, especially from a young age.
    Great plan though in walking part of your journeys…might join you in that challenge :) xx
    ps. your calves are not big, your shoulders are not broad and you are lovely

  • Hope

    Proud of you! Well done. I too am making this the year of change and likewise, that extra 2 min walks, all the little steps will help me reach my target!

    Much love

  • ?

    Well I think you’re perfect just the way you are and I wouldn’t change a thing about you. x

  • Emma

    Thank you so much for being so honest, I know that as I am on the weight loss journey myself how hard it is to be happy with what you have. I find myself constantly striving for a little bit more weight loss, I worry I won’t be happy. So I have decided to focus on improving things, such as my walking speed, and seeing improvement in health as important as weight loss.
    Thank you again for your great views
    Em x

  • Julia

    I know what you mean, used to feel like this too…

    But why not go to the gym? Why not start jogging?
    Physical exersice is the one and only key to lean and crunchy body – not dieting! Well, to be more specific, these 2 combined are the key. Maybe you just haven’t found the right sports yet?