It seems everyone around me seems to be getting pregnant, planning their futures around someone elses. It seems having a baby has become quite the trend.
The problem? I used to really want one. For the last 10 years, all I thought about was children, what I’d call them, if they’d be twins, heck – I even researched twins in my family. It turns out there’s some random myth that my grand mother has five sets of twins, my grandma was twin, even my aunty – so my old broody self LOVED that it could be having twins next.
And now? I really couldn’t want anything less. Two of them? I don’t even want one. Right now that is anyway.
And I think the difference is, I really didn’t have a lot in my life to enjoy before. Like not in a ‘poor Sarah’ way, but in a genuine, was just going through the motions way. And you know, when you’re looking for a purpose, and believe me, I was LOOKING VERY HARD, you try and fill it with something else.
But honestly, ever since I found how much I love blogging and social media, and what actually make a living out of it (something a lot of my friends and family still don’t believe is a ‘real job’) – I have so much I want to do. And it wasn’t just that – it was all meeting my boyfriend. It all gave me a lot of structure and gave me a lot of sense. Before I’d kind of latched on to people who had a life direction and tried to follow theirs. But that obviously never works. Man, imagine if it did and I dated a pimp or something?
So a baby, right now, or even soon wouldn’t work. Because let’s face it – they are life changing. They might look cute, and they might even be a very sweet accessory, but they’re not for me right now. And I think that makes me very happy – because finally after 27 years of not knowing what I want, I know what I don’t want and that makes perfect sense. Right?